6 months....half a year since you've been gone, taken away from this earth. I still can't believe it. Although this is for posting memories about you, this is one of the few ways I feel I can "talk" to you and I want to tell you what I went through the night you left us.
I was at MK with Shaq, Atiq, Khalid and then Bashir came. Shaq and Atiq left so us three were just hanging out. I think Bashir was waiting for you, or your other cousins to meet him up. He gets a phone call and I could tell by his face something is wrong.
It was about to thunderstorm and my parents wanted me to get home, so I started to get up to leave and he says "Fred's in the hospital..he had an accident" It worried me for a second, but I was in a car accident last year and I remember going to the hospital because I had some pain when the air bag exploded so I didn't think too much of it.
I went home, Khalid and Bash went to the hospital. I tell them to text me with updates so I know whats up.
Once I get home, I get a text from both of them, telling me the worst possible news. I can't get that image out of my head, the words telling me what happened. I was by myself, I had no idea what to do.
The first person I call is Samira, I had no idea where she was or what she was doing. She didn't pick up, the second person I call was Sahar. She was at her cousin's grad party or something like that in Maryland and Tina was with her. I didn't know how to tell her, how I could get the words out that you, Fred, had died. She wouldn't believe me at first but no one would play a cruel joke like that. I had to hang up because I couldn't listen to her cry.
At this point I was in the worst shock, I had no tears, I just sat in my room by myself in shock, I couldn't comprehend you, out of all people, with your great heart, had left this world.
I called a few other people that were close to you because they had a right to know. Everytime I had to tell someone, it broke my heart and hurt more and more.
The past six months have been life-changing for everyone. I wish you were here, I wish you never left and nothing changed.
Please help me get through this difficult time Im going through. I need your strength from heaven to help me through this life...
You are in a better place now, and please look down on us as our angel, I pray for you everyday.
Love you and miss you.
-Z
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| Zohal |
| Anh |
I was just listening to Leona Lewis's CD and her song "Yesterday" completely reminded me of you.... sooo this song is for you....
"Yesterday"
I just cant believe your gone, still waiting for morning to come,
when i see if the sun will rise,in the way that your by my side,
oooo where we had so much in store, tell me what is it all reaching for,
when were through building memories i'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart
[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday,
they can take the future that we'll never know
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday
You always choose to stay, i should be thankful for everyday,
heaven knows what the future holds, or least where the story goes,
i never believed untill now,
i know i'll see you again i'm sure, no its not selfish to ask for more,
one more night one more day one more smile on your face
but they cant take yesterday,
[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday,
they can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday.
I thought our days would last forever, but it wasn't our destiny,
cause in my mind we had so much time,
but i was so wrong, no i can believe me,
i can still find the strength in the moments we made
i'm looking back on yesterday
[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday,
they can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday.
i love you and i miss you soo much <3
"Yesterday"
I just cant believe your gone, still waiting for morning to come,
when i see if the sun will rise,in the way that your by my side,
oooo where we had so much in store, tell me what is it all reaching for,
when were through building memories i'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart
[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday,
they can take the future that we'll never know
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday
You always choose to stay, i should be thankful for everyday,
heaven knows what the future holds, or least where the story goes,
i never believed untill now,
i know i'll see you again i'm sure, no its not selfish to ask for more,
one more night one more day one more smile on your face
but they cant take yesterday,
[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday,
they can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday.
I thought our days would last forever, but it wasn't our destiny,
cause in my mind we had so much time,
but i was so wrong, no i can believe me,
i can still find the strength in the moments we made
i'm looking back on yesterday
[Chorus]
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they take the music that we'll never play,
all the broken dreams take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday,
they can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we will go,
all the broken dreams, take everything, just take it away,
but they can never have yesterday.
i love you and i miss you soo much <3
| Idrees Abbasi |
Fred...My hearts been aching for you...I remember the nights after you passed away, we all gathered at your house and told memories, read Qur'an, and just chilled...I just came up here to tell you that I've been praying five times a day for the past five months, dedicating each and every prayer to you and Haji Agha...And like Diana said, "I'm proud to say he was MY uncle..."...I'll have to agree with her on that one...And lastly, I dedicate this song to my Beloved Uncle Fred,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8o2Fh735BU
^^I know your livin' in the sky...R.I.P Uncle Fred and Haji Agha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8o2Fh735BU
^^I know your livin' in the sky...R.I.P Uncle Fred and Haji Agha
| waheed abbasi |
Waheed Abbasi
Hey Farid Jaan!!! :0
This is definitely not a memory but how you left without a good bye..
I was in London with my mom for my nieces engagement. of course I was having a good time and enjoying every moment wishing that my cousins would come and have an awesome time with me.
My nephew and I on my last day went out shopping to some random mall..and I swear something very strange came to my mind and all I saw was Farid jaans face.. The next 30 seconds my nephew gets a phone call from my niece that Fred is gone. I kind ignored it because there was a Farid in London but I didn't know who he was. So I kinda ignored it but at the same time it was killing me to ask him. so I took a deep breath and look at my nephew in his eyes and said Ali Jan which Farid are we talking about. He looked away and said Uncle Farid Was shot and he is gone. I just froze my skin turning yellow and could not breath with a sever panic attack. The mall was about five minutes from my sisters house but that day it seemed forever and ever we were just not making it home. Finally we arrived to the house I rush myself and at the same time my mom and sister walk into the house because they had gone out shopping. They had such great smiles on their faces, anyway I rush into the house and I run upstairs get onto my nieces bed and scream my lungs out crying as hard as I could not knowing what the family was going through here...Let me tell you that this was the hardest part of my life ever. SO my mom rushes upstairs wanting to know what happened. I changed the subject and said I' am starving and I needed something to drink right away. she refused to believe me, she kept on saying waheed what's wrong waheed lets get tickets and go home now..is everyone okay at home constant questions...so I didn't say much and I had to play it off for the next 3 days that we were in London.
That same evening as we were going to sleep my mom was complaining that she was having heart aches. of course I knew why but at the same time I didn't want her to get sick so I got her some med's to take the pain away. I could not fall asleep whatsoever so I woke up went on the computer and came onto face book and I could not believe what I was seeing.. I again got a panic attack and was so sad that this had happened. I was in such shock mode and I was not snapping out of it. the next day my mom asked me that she is assure that something is wrong back here in Virginia. but of course I kept on changing the subject and did;NT want to tell her because id did not want to get sick. I wanted to wait until we arrived here to Virginia. we took all the phone lines out at the house so no one would call and give her the horrible news.
anyway the day of our arrival to Virginia was sooooooooooo bad. We arrived waheeda and my best friend Bahar Jan picked us up. I was sad but mom was as happy as ever that she had arrived home but she had no idea where or what she was going to see. so in the car waheeda and I kept on saying to each other in English that one way or another we need to tell her what's going on. so finally we told her that we were going to my brothers esmats house for dinner. she was like oh I thought everyone was going to come here to our house. well not really we didn't go to my house or esmats house. as we were getting close to kaka qasims house waheeda had the guts to tell her that farid is no more. my mom held waheeda;s hands and my sister in laws hands screaming OH KHODAH OH KHODAH what are you telling me. I on the other hand in the front seat have no idea what I was doing. we get out of the car walk my mom to the house and we both just crying screaming crying and screaming.... My aunt comforts me throwing water from all directions everyone I see is pitch black nothing is normal everyone is in such stage that I had never imagined them to be in.
That same evening as I'm close to ZOBAIDA nd SHARIFA were not home they had gone to where Fred's life was taking away. I was taken by waheeda and a few other cousin of mine. I jump out of the car the first person I see is Kaka QASIM and he hugged me crying and saying waheed Jan kaka he is gone and all I could think about was I' AM SO SORRY I'm so sorry. and then I see ZOE and I can't believe the stage we were all in. I wish I had some shared memories with him
the only thing that I could remember is him smiling at me and saying what's up NIGGA and I confronted him a few times and said please don't call me that I don't look anything like a nigga and I'm nothing near a nigga lol. and he would just ignore it and say then your the pimp. but whatever ill take those words from him anytime now.
Here I'm 5 months later crying in tears wishing that I had some good times with you but I don't and I regret every moment of it. I it has been 5 months already and believe me I look everywhere all I want is to see your face but I can't. I drive on rt 29 everyday on my way home and of course I pass your new garden and I think to myself wow I could have never imagined you or anyone else so young to be there. Sometimes I go there alone just sit there and talk to you, telling you how much you are missed and how many lives you have touched. I know eventually we'll meet again but I wish that you never left so early.
anyway I'm so sorry to write this but YOU have been on my mind all day and I just came on here to take that out of my mind I wanted to share it with everyone.
LOVE YOU FOREVER AND MISS YOU
WAHEED ABBASI
| Sharifa Abbasi |
So I'm supposed to be in bed right now because I have to wake up in a couple of hours...but tell me why I've been laying in bed for nearly two hours and doing nothing but thinking about you and crying? Mostly Im crying because I miss you soooooooooo much but Im also crying because of everything happening around me. When I read that people have changed because of you or that they have learned something from your passing away, it makes me a little stronger. However, what hurts the most is when people say these things and right away they contradict it with their actions.
It hurts so much to lose you and nobody will understand this immense pain but as always I try to make myself understand everything by telling myself that everything happens for a reason. and that you were taken away for a reason, and that your passing away was a sacrifice to teach everyone else something. But lately Ive been getting very disappointed.
Fred, you were a great person. Your absence has created a hole in your familys hearts and lives that will never go away. The only thing that makes us feel a bit of comfort is to know that God chose to take you because he needed to teach everyone else something. And like I said before, what hurts the most and what angers me the most is when I see everyone going back to the way they were. It just almost makes me feel that God tried so hard but people have even started to treat your passing away as nothing. That all of Gods efforts were a waste. Everyone probably thinks that Im so crazy right now, but honestly if you were Fred's sister and had to bear the loss of a such a great man you would totally understand me right now.
I know that God didnt take you away for no reason. It was in his plan and it was in the hopes that everyone that you left behind would learn somethng from it. I know I have. Your passing away has reshaped my life and me as an indivdual in so many ways. I know Im being unreasonable in expecting the same thing from other people because I know that your passing away has ONLY affected me in tht way. I shouldn't expect anything from anyone else, because what you meant to me is totally different than what you meant to everyone else. But I dont know, I guess I can't help feeling this way when I know just truly how much of a great person you were, and how much I have no doubt that you were a true ANGEL in disguise. I dont know, it might sound a little crazy but I just can't comprehend the idea of people not being touched in some way from your passing away. I hope that within time I will accpet this and in return have some of this anger out.
P.S. I remember that shirt Diana is talking about and I can still get an image of it hanging off in your wall. Diana, you have no idea just how much he appreciated that gift. I don't thiNk he ever actually wore it, instead just had it hanging on his wall as his most prized possession. And for that whole day and many days after, he just couldn't stop talking about how nice and thoughtful you were. And like you, I thought the same thing.. that "calm down-->its just a shirt" but he kept telling me that "NO Sharifa...it's more than that......how can you not see?" I guess I just didn't have enough goodness in my heat to see it like him and like always he put me to shame once again.
I wish so badly that I could hold you right now and just cry on your shoulders because I have just been holding so much in. I know you can hear my heart crying to right now and like always you will give me exactly what I've asked for. In case I don't tell you when you come into my dreams tonite..I just want you to know that I love you so muchhhhhh that it makes me reaslize I didn't even know a love this deep was even possible. Love you baby brother and im getting sleepy right now so thats a sign that your waiting to come and visit me. Love you and thank you for being there for me EVEN NOW when I need you the most.
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